He Saved a Wretch Like Me!

Undoubtedly the most beautiful, mysterious, dreadful, yet wonderful experience in the Christian walk is to glimpse the glory of the Lord. I believe He allows us these glimpses of Him so that when we turn back and see ourselves in His light, we start to truly understand the wretchedness of our state. In the light of His glory and grace, His awesome perfection, we see ourselves as we truly are – wretched, worthless sinners.

Seeing myself as I truly am in His presence fills me with sorrow and personal grief, yet (Praise the Lord), He allows that introspective moment of horror to pass almost as soon as it is felt. Soon after this personal horror, my soul is flooded with the grace of God by the realisation that I have been cleansed the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ. This is the incredible privilege of those who have been born into the house of God through the redeeming work of His Son. It is in moments like these, I believe, that the hymn-writers penned their finest songs of praise to Him. As my own pen fails to put into words the feeling I am here describing – here is a small sample of those excellent descriptions:

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me

Who once was lost, but now I’m found

Was blind, but now I see

(From Amazing Grace by John Newton)

Nothing in my hand I bring

Simply to Thy cross I cling

Naked, come to Thee for dress

Helpless, look to Thee for grace

(From Rock of Ages by Augustus Toplady)

Just as I am, poor, wretched, blind

Sight, riches, healing of the mind

All that I need in Thee to find

O Lamb of God, I come, I come

(From Just as I am by Charlotte Elliott)

These hymns are among the closest approximations to the awesome experience of God’s presence and grace towards us that I can find outside of the Bible. When I consider my own experience, these hymns show me that other poor, blind, miserable wretches lived in this world and they, like me, found the comfort they needed in the cross of Christ. However, when we consider personal experience, we need to confirm that these experiences (however profound) are indeed the work of the Holy Spirit. The only way to find confirmation of this is to turn to the Word of God.

In those moments where I fully understand how wretched a creature I am in the sight of my Creator, I constantly ask “Who am I?”. Who am I, Lord, that you should even consider my wretched state, let alone that You would die on the cross to set me free? Who am I, that I should even be allowed to enter into Your presence, let alone that You should want me to enter there? Who am I, that I should not only be called a child of God, but also that He should choose me to do His bidding? Yet, besides all my protests, these things are true – that I really am free of sin and death, that I am welcomed into the very throne room of God, and that I am chosen to do His will.

That my state certainly is wretched is witnessed by the righteous people whose lives are recorded in God’s Word. Indeed, those who declared themselves to be wretched were more righteous than I could hope to be, what they declare therefore applies to me many-fold over. After the Lord Himself declared His glory to Job and presents His majesty to him, Job replies: “I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees You. Therefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.” (Job 42:5-6). When Isaiah entered the throne room of God in a vision and saw God with spiritual eyes, he proclaims: “Woe is me, for I am undone! Because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts.” (Is. 6:5). Since the Lord Himself now dwells within all those who know Him, we are able to see Him by the Spirit as Isaiah did in his vision. Thus, when we enter into the presence of God, the responses of Job and Isaiah are the only kind of response that we can utter. In the face of His glory, we are abhorrent and unclean.

The question “Who am I?” has also been recorded as the correct response to God when He graces mankind with the task to do His will. When the Lord revealed His glory to Moses and gave him the task of leading Israel out of Egypt, he asked: “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh, and that I should bring the children of Israel out of Egypt?” (Ex. 3:11). What makes me worthy of this task, O Lord? This is in effect what he was asking of God. Similarly, when the Lord revealed to King David that He had chosen His line of descendants to be kings over Israel, which would ultimately bring the King of kings into the world, David responds by saying: “Who am I, O Lord God? And what is my house, that You have brought me this far?” (1 Chron. 17:16). Although both Moses and David were keenly aware of their own unworthiness to do the tasks that were set before them, yet they both resolved that He is able to do His will through them. David therefore says: “And now, O Lord, the word which You have spoken concerning Your servant and concerning his house, let it be established forever, and do as You have said.” (1 Chron. 17:23).

The feeling of wretchedness and unworthiness in the presence of God are therefore confirmed in His Word. Additionally, Paul describes the experience of inexpressible gratitude for His grace flooding the soul immediately after the moment of introspective horror. Towards the end of his explanation of the continuous battle between man’s sinful nature and God’s perfect will, he exclaims: “O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God – through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Rom. 7:24). Knowledge of one’s own state of depravation in comparison to God is thus the first step towards realising that we need not stay that way. Through the sacrifice of the Lord Jesus Christ and by His amazing grace, He has indeed saved a wretch like me.