Proverbs 3:11-12 – Do Not Detest His Correction

This is the final verse pair that I will examine in this series of articles, as it is a fitting conclusion and summary of all the verse pairs that have gone before it. These verses expand on a key theme that runs right from verse one – our relationship with God can be described as one of father and child.

Prov. 3:11-12  My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord,

Nor detest His correction;

For whom the Lord loves He corrects,

Just as a father the son in whom he delights.

Firstly, let me highlight how all of the previous verse pairs in Proverbs 3 are brought together under the theme of father and son. As His children, we ought to obey the moral laws set by our Father out of a pure heart (vv. 1-2); in His dealings with us, our Father uses mercy and truth as an example for His children to follow (vv. 3-4); as a child places all its trust in its parents, so are we to continually look to Him for guidance (vv. 5-6); children should learn from their parents, rather than arrogantly assuming that they know everything already (vv. 7-8); children are to honour their parents, both by respecting them and supporting them with material possessions when they are able to do so (vv. 9-10).

In many of the previous articles covering these verses, you may have noticed the differences between how the world views these principles, and how God means for them to work. The world lives in disobedience to and defiance of God’s moral laws (vv. 1-2), it rejects His truth and tramples mercy underfoot (vv. 3-4), it encourages us to help ourselves rather than trust in Him (vv. 5-6), making us feel that we know everything and don’t need His wisdom (vv. 7-8), and finally false teachings have twisted God’s request for honour into our treating Him as a celestial banker who will give us what we want (vv. 9-10). Perhaps fittingly, there is no greater contrast between man’s ways and God’s ways in this day than the one we will find in this final verse pair.

In verses 11 and 12, we see the words chastening and correction. Particularly as it relates to the relationship between father and child, the world has despised and detested this principle. In today’s world, children should not be chastened or corrected when they are going off course, but rather continually encouraged in the direction of their own choosing. Now, the purpose of this article is not to advise anyone on parenting (not being a parent myself, I cannot advise others), but rather to focus on the biblical links between earthly parent-child relationships, and our spiritual relationship to God as our Father.

Firstly, we find that correction is linked with instruction and learning throughout the Word. The Lord wants to teach us to walk in His ways, and instruct us with true wisdom and knowledge. If we do not listen to His instructions, then He may allow us to experience unpleasant things in our lives to bring us back onto the path He wants us to follow. Solomon emphasizes the links between instruction and correction in other Proverbs – He who keeps instruction is in the way of life, but he who refuses correction goes astray (Prov. 10:17). Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid (Prov. 12:1). Here we see, in no uncertain terms, that correction is an integral part of God’s guidance and instruction for our lives.

Like a rebellious child, we want to go our own way and do things the way we see fit. Born out of our know-it-all arrogant attitude, we think we can get where we want to go without following our Father’s instructions. However, being foolish children, we don’t see the ultimate consequences of our actions, and may not realise the extent of our folly until we reap what we have sown. What should a father do when he sees his child going in a direction that would ultimately lead to destruction? Should he, as the world teaches, stand idly by or even encourage the child to “express yourself” and continue on the wrong path?

The answer to why a father should correct his wayward child lies in verse 12: For whom the Lord loves He corrects, just as a father the son in whom he delights (emphasis mine). True love should compel fathers to correct their children and do their level best to bring them back onto the right path that is ultimately for their good. This is the very reason that our heavenly Father sometimes allows pain and difficulty into our lives – He uses these things to bring us back to Him, and His sole motive for doing so is pure, boundless, love.

In our focal verse pair, we are told not to despise or detest God’s correction, as it is for our good. In Hebrews 12, the writer expands on this idea further, and tells us that our attitude towards God’s correction should be one of gratefulness, as we realise that it is a direct result of His love for us as our Father:

Heb 12:7-11    If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

As with all the verse pairs that we have studied in this series, a blessing comes with the instruction. In this verse pair, the blessing is subtle, but truly wonderful when we come to understand it. If we have gone astray in our walk with the Lord, or perhaps started to wander a little too far from His side, we may experience painful, even tragic, events in our lives that drive us back to Him for refuge and comfort. But where is the blessing in that? The world today has led us to believe that inflicting any sort of pain or discomfort on a child is proof that their parents don’t love them. We should never allow the world’s thinking to cloud our understanding of the Lord. If we adopt the world’s attitude towards chastening, then we will miss out on the great blessing of this verse. The chastening and correction of the Lord are in fact a sure proof of His eternal love towards us.

How can I be so sure that chastening and correction are proof of God’s love? It is no coincidence that Jesus addresses this issue directly when speaking to the church of Laodicea. This is the last church that is addressed by the Lord in the book of Revelation, which corresponds to the last age of the church – our time. After describing the poor state of the church of Laodicea and pleading with them to come back to Him, the Lord says: “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent.” (Rev. 3:19). He knew that the last church would be influenced by the world’s disregard for parents chastening their children out of love. Jesus therefore reassures the church of our age that His rebuke is a sure sign of His love for us.

Do you sometimes doubt that God cares about you, and that He really wants you to be with Him in heaven? Do you ever feel unworthy to be called a child of God, and think that He will just write you off? Then ask yourself a few questions: have I ever experienced pain that led me back to Jesus’ feet? Have I ever reached depths of despair, in which the only possible solution was to cry out “Father, help me”? Have I ever mixed songs of praise with bitter tears of heartache? If you have, then rest assured, your Father loves you!