My Brain Made Me do it!

The following futuristic fictional court case was inspired by The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins. For simplicity, the defendant is his own lawyer, and the judge examines him directly.

Judge: The charge brought against the defendant is bank robbery. Defendant, how do you plead? Guilty or not guilty?

Defendant: Neither, your honour.

Jud: This had better not be a waste of the court’s time!

Def: Well, your honour, if you will allow me to explain, I will show you sound scientific reasons for my plea.

Jud: Very well, let’s continue. Did you, or did you not rob several banks over the course of the last few years?

Def: I did, your honour.

Jud: Could you please explain to the court how you are neither guilty nor not guilty?

Def: My defence rests on the following core beliefs: 1) I am a monist – I believe that my physical brain produces my thoughts in a natural process, and that there can be no separation between the physical state of my brain and my resultant thoughts. 2) I am a Darwinian evolutionist – I believe that who I am and what I do today are direct results of the slow process of natural selection, which provides the genes I possess today. 3) I am a genetic descendant of a close-knit society of people who robbed banks for a living in the ‘Wild West’ of America.

Jud: The court understands and accepts these core beliefs, the first two of which are based on an evolutionist worldview. Please explain the third of these beliefs to the court.

Def: The first physical evidence I would like to produce is to prove this third belief – using molecular genetics. A team of geneticists have discovered that I am closely related to a notorious band of bank robbers. I have had my genome mapped, and they assure me that specific genes that affect a particular part of my brain were inherited from my ancestral bank robbers. Furthermore, historical and archaeological evidence from Western America has given us insights into their lives. I shall now present to the court a brief version of the theories regarding my ancestors’ lifestyles.

Jud: This is getting interesting; please proceed.

Def: My bank-robbing ancestors lived within very close-knit bands of men and women. The main occupation of the men in these bands (as you may have guessed) was robbing banks. The women, in turn, favoured the men who were the most ruthless and successful among the robbers. Each man would return from his bank-robbing forays with tokens of his success and lavish gifts for his ladies. Within this society, not robbing banks was considered cowardly – non-bank-robbing individuals were effectively rejected as societal outcasts, and they had no chance with the ladies! This is the evidence gathered thus far from historical and archaeological studies.

Jud: Studies of ancient culture are fascinating, but we are here to determine whether you are guilty of recent bank robberies.

Def: Your honour, this is where natural selection comes in. Within the bank-robbing bands, there were very high selection pressures on the men. The authorities did not catch the most successful bank robbers in the society (i.e. they remained in the population), and they had many children with multiple women from their bank-robbing society. Using state-of-the-art genetic techniques, a team of geneticists have found that after a few generations, all males in the bank-robbing society inherited a particular set of genes that influence brain development. These genes increase the capacity of the brain to plan robberies, and provide the necessary level of recklessness to execute them. It also appears that the genes have mimicked sexual urges in the brain to produce bank-robbing urges (presumably because reproduction and bank-robbing were closely linked in this society). Bank-robbing urges were therefore extremely strong amongst my ancestors, and I believe that I still carry the genes that cause such urges.

Jud: That is an interesting theory. However, please remind the court what is your occupation, when not robbing banks?

Def: I am a lawyer, your honour.

Jud: So you earn a living wage and therefore no longer need to rob banks, correct?

Def: Correct.

Jud: Is your wife a descendant of the bank-robbing society?

Def: No, your honour.

Jud: So, presumably, she no longer pressures you into robbing banks?

Def: No, your honour, she does not.

Jud: If robbing banks is no longer required for your survival and reproduction in this modern age, why do you still do it?

Def: I believe that I am a victim of misfiring natural selection.

Jud: Please explain this to the court.

Def: Your honour, I refer here to a particular theory put forward by the eminent popular scientific writer, Richard Dawkins. According to him, many human behaviours and emotions that do not have current benefits for survival and reproduction did provide such benefits to our distant ancestors. Current behaviours, such as falling deeply in love with one particular individual (irrespective of their reproductive potential), are really just cases of misfiring natural selection. Urges that were beneficial to our ancestors promoted the frequency of the genes that gave rise to these urges. We still possess these genes today, and therefore still have the urges, despite the fact that they confer no current evolutionary benefits to us.

Jud: Another fascinating theory, but please return to explaining yourself before the court.

Def: Well, your honour, because of my ancestry I experience strong bank-robbing urges every time I see a bank. These urges are products of my genes, which have influenced my brain development. This brings me to my final line of evidence: neurology. A team of highly qualified neurologists have been studying my brain, and they think that there is evidence for a “bank-robbing complex” in my brain. This is similar to Dawkins’ idea that religious people have a “god complex” in their brains, which seems to give them religious tendencies. My bank-robbing complex appears to be the source of my strong bank-robbing urges. Furthermore, it allows me to plan bank robberies very well and gives me the recklessness to execute them, as it did for my ancestors.

Jud: Now that you have presented all your evidence to the court, please conclude your testimony.

Def: As a monistic Darwinian evolutionist, I believe that my current actions are heavily influenced by my genes, which I have inherited from my ancestors. Because my ancestors were a close-knit society of bank robbers, I possess genes that influence my brain development in such a way that I experience overwhelmingly strong urges to rob banks. Thus, I cannot be held guilty for robbing banks, because my brain made me do it!

If the theories that Richard Dawkins presents were true, then this fictional defendant would be justified. But, in the real world, do these theories really hold any water? You be the judge!